Social Media Personality Disorder?

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Do you ever wonder how and why some people come on social media and quickly get on freak mode? They take on a new personality; an alter ego of sorts, as if the web were an alternate reality and a different set of rules applied to human behavior online; there is no decorum, no conscience and absolutely no restraint to their behavior. When they are here anything goes; they stalk, they make contributions to subjects they know nothing about, and they redirect traffic from ‘sensible’ to ‘chaos central’. They are as ignorant as they are obnoxious! They cannot be contained and they most certainly cannot be reasoned with. And in honest terms, they are why you don’t like coming online sometimes. You know those people right?

They are called many things; web trolls, cyber-bullies, the dark ones, but whatever they are called, they only do one thing; they make trouble online! They are everywhere and they don’t understand or speak English as you and I do; they speak it as a language of the future. They are fluent in three international languages; confusion, hate and mischief. They are a different human species and they can only get along with their kind!

trolls.pngYou wonder; is it the social media that denatures people when they come online or do they actually bring their sadism with them to this huge but frail cyber space to meet with other people. Are they good people in real life and only lose control when they suffer the debilitating effects of using the web. And while they are adrift are we to assume that they are like zombies; largely clueless of everything else?

It’s simple really, surfing in the virtual world doesn’t make us robots; it doesn’t change who we are; we surf as persons and all that we are; intelligent, emotional, complicated and all.  Life in the real world is full of crazies; the virtual world is not any different. In fact, sometimes people are worse when they are online because they can be themselves without any holds barred; not needing to hide one’s face in shame after goofing is quite liberating!

We’ve all had an experience with this kind of people that has left a bitter taste in the mouth; you have at one time probably come online with good in your heart and only said the obvious as humanely possible as you could and they made it out into something else; making you second guess yourself and the purpose of your sharing. Are they for real? How can they be so callous? Do they only joy in mischief? Or do they have a problem and need help? Aha! Is it vaguely possible this is a psychological problem they have?

If we’ve learnt anything about bullies at all, it is that beneath all that mischief and callousness is a deep seated feeling of insecurity and fear; they fear your guts, they are intimidated by your sense of purpose and they want what you have! They would not say it even if their lives depended on it but they actually really envy you; if you could see into their souls and their feeble thought processes you’d feel sorry for them; inside them, it’s dark, cold and miserable; they need you!

Once you have these in perspective you will not be so hurt anymore. You will redirect your energy from getting offended to trying to help. Stay focused. Be undaunted. If there is any purpose to what you are doing on social media, if it’s beneficial to mankind; albeit simple, if it’s meaningful, don’t let anyone deter you. Dish it out fresh and wholesome. Don’t be afraid of telling the truth. People need to hear it, especially your naysayers.

Have you brushed shoulders with anyone with SMPD lately? Let us know how you handled it! We’d love to hear from you.

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It Won’t Kill You To Say It

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines compliment as ”an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration; especially: an admiring remark; it is also a formal and respectful recognition.” It is important to note that in both definitions it is a verbalized communication of a person’s confidence reposed in another person; it is an appreciation that is not only felt, but expressed verbally; a compliment should be spoken, not just thought.

It’s funny how sometimes you expect me to ‘just know’ you think I’m special, or I’m loved or you greatly appreciate me even though your lips are tightly sealed! I am supposed to just look at you and know that your heart is filled with immense gratitude and admiration for me cos you are you are here or smiling! Hilarious. Well, how about I smile next time you are stranded or need a hand? I’d just smile and hope that you know I am helping you in there. I’m just saying.

Words are very important, especially appreciative words. People don’t know exactly how much they mean to you until you tell them. Words help us validate our worth in people’s lives and determine where we fit in the scheme of things. Words we say to communicate how we feel in appreciation of something or someone tell them just how much we value them; they are called compliments and they are a little more important than we think.

Have you ever received a genuine and heartfelt compliment that came to you at a time when you were at your lowest? How did it make you feel, like a million bucks uhn? You had been having a bad day; everything that could go wrong had gone wrong, and just when you thought you had had it; just when you were near the high gates of despondency someone paid you a compliment; making you feel you weren’t done just yet; there was more to give!

Let’s quickly go over the transition again; you were down and almost out, then a compliment came in handy and brought with it a new lease of life changing your perspective of yourself and of the situation. In simple terms, it saved the day for you. Indeed a compliment can save the day; it can save a business deal, a relationship, a marriage, even a life. Let me say it again, a compliment can save a life!

Have you ever paid someone a compliment and watched their eyes come alive? Have you ever spoken words of encouragement to someone until an area of apparent flaw became an area of strength? How did it make you feel? It’s amazing what right words can do. They touch us in a most effective way. We can turn things around by just using words of affirmation and confidence.

We all love to receive compliments; no matter how much we pretend we can get by without them, we are thrilled when we get one. So why don’t we give them freely? We don’t give compliments easily because of two unspoken myths; first is that the receiver of the compliment might think they have got something that you don’t, and second that you might lose them when they have developed a healthy self-esteem; we don’t like people living independent of us. For these two major fears we withhold what we know people duly need.

We can put them both down to one thing; fear! Fear is the bane of our existence on earth. We fear things we have only imagined so much so that we are willing to lose what we already have. We are willing to gamble in the off chance that keeping people a little unappreciated will make them always loyal to us. Fear is treacherous and doesn’t always tell you the truth; otherwise you would know that you are going to lose them for the very reason that you are not helping them acquire a healthy self-image.

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You lose nothing telling people just how good you think they are. A compliment doesn’t make you any less a great standup act after telling another comedian how hilarious he is. You are not less a man just cos you have told your wife you can’t live without her. And you most certainly won’t lose your grip on your kids cos you tell them you are very proud of them!

It might help you to know that not telling people how special they are to you is not exorable; it has its sad consequences; people second guess themselves around you. They can’t give their best to you or for your cause because they don’t think they’ve got anything special to offer. Worst case scenario, they leave you; people naturally leave you for who is better appreciating them. You don’t want them doing that, do you? I’m not sure you want to be surrounded by a world of insecure people either.

Be the first to notice when your son has developed a new skill, and say it! Pay attention to your wife’s new delicacy, and say it if you like it. Tell your team of staff they are an incredible bunch and you are honored to be on their team. Say it! Say it! Say it!!! Be that guy who keeps belching out appreciation for every good thing he sees; keep doing it until everyone around you is doubly sure they mean something special to you! Life will begin anew when you do!

Share if you like and spread the word. Let us know what your opinion on this matter is! Thanks.

 

For the Love of God, Would You Stop Sharing that Video?

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The net is saturated with unwholesome content, and I’m not just talking about pornography or lucid perversion; I’m talking about the bizarre videos and photos of gory events that make it to social media almost as soon as they occur. People waste no time in proliferating news of misfortune. As of this moment all you are doing is reading my post, but when you are ‘just having fun’, does it matter how far you go or wonder at whose expense you are?

There is nothing wrong with wanting a good laugh; we are gregarious beings; always wanting to connect with other people and have fun while at it too. Graciously, social media affords us the opportunity to connect with people world over and to share anything of interest; even what we find funny.  There is something wrong however with the way we keep pushing the boundaries of fun and how we make ourselves happy. We have fallen on paradoxical times and fun is not fun enough anymore, we need a dose of sadism to spike things up a bit.

Our eyes are glued to the screen in excitement long after the fun is gone; we are like giddy little kids in a toy shop! But even kids have enough sense to look away when it gets inappropriate. The pictures have changed from funny to unpleasant and we are still laughing. It looks to me like we would laugh at any cost! There used to be a clear disparity between entertainment and absurdity; we used to laugh at a good joke and recoil at obscenity; we knew when fun had ended and something else had begun. Pause, think, when was the last time anything obscene made you shudder on social media?

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Do you think you are absolved of blame? Before you answer, you may want to look up some of your activities on social media and see how they fit into normal, sane and humane behavior. When you post videos, photos and comments about people at their worst or at least in uncomplimentary situations, do you stop to think about how it makes these people feel? Or how you could be reminding them of things they have forgotten about themselves or desperately wish to. No one likes to keep reminders of their own past failures and folly. People are a little more fragile than you think; two out of every three persons that have successfully carried out a suicide were depressed. Every forty minutes a suicide occurs!

I’m not making an excuse for suicide or for weakness. I’m just saying we don’t have to be so standoffish about other people’s misfortunes; we shouldn’t shut up our bowels of compassion just because we are at the playground and we think we could use a good laugh. You may not have the cure to someone’s depression, but you can choose not to be the reason for it either.  Someone’s life may depend on it.

And what about the effect of your actions on people who care about them? Of course they have loved ones, a lot of which are on social media. They see your posts, and they read your comments, and it breaks their hearts to know there is nothing they can do about it. I saw on Facebook a few days ago a bizarre picture of a man who had been killed by his wife in his sleep. The picture showed his deeply lacerated neck and bloodied remains, and I thought to myself, ‘how unkind it’d be for an old friend to bump into such a traumatizing picture!’

Do you get a kick from watching pictures and videos of people scared out of their skin, or in their savage behavior, or fighting for their lives or even dead? Think about it. If you do, what does that make you, a fun loving person or a sadist? Not everything is fun or funny; some jokes are sick and shouldn’t make you laugh! Fun may be going right for you but you are going wrong.

I’m sorry I’m touching on a sensitive spot, probably getting you on the defensive but I know you would protect your loved one as much as you can from the world’s impersonal glare; if it were in your power their shame would not see the light of day. Ask yourself would you be laughing as much if you were the one on the screen right now; the object of ridicule? Would the joke have the same appeal if it was on you? If not, please make a mental adjustment; and the next time you want to unwind by seeing a funny video, be sure you would still be laughing if you were watching you in sucsh reproachful spectacle.

KEEPING YOUR FACE ON A FACELESS PLANET

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Haven’t been on social media in a week? Don’t worry, you haven’t missed a thing! Same ol’ same ol’; the ‘likers’ are still liking and cyber stalkers are still on the loose! You have only missed your part in the GMC (Global Mask Convention)! So give yourself a break, your phone too.

It’s ok too if you haven’t watched TV in a few days, nothing is new. The last time I checked, only mishap made news. Plus the tube is riddled with recycled material; there are no new stories or new ideas for sit-coms and soaps. Movie directors are bringing back (remaking if you will) movies our parents and their parents before them watched!

All the songs on the top ten countdown of your favorite radio show sound the same. They are track after track of corny music and the explanation is quite simple really; the first hit track of the year sets the trend for the other songs following. Producers and artistes quickly line up behind that possibility of cashing in on that success – it’s safer to be a copy.

These are the biggest cons of our day; new doesn’t sell; it’s not familiar. Creativity earns no accolade; there is no yardstick for measuring what it is, and hard work is gainsaid because there is always an easier, better and even faster way to get results! If these are all true then life as we know it is about to end.

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It’s a freak show on the globe; we wear the same clothes, do the same dance and wear the same face! Thanks to make-up artists you can look exactly like Nicki Minaj and so not like you! I don’t have a problem with make-up; I’m just saying while you are wearing Rihanna’s face no one is wearing yours! It takes a toll on your self-esteem; you’re scared of being or looking different. It creeps you out when you have an idea out of the box. And you know why?

All your life you have survived on the approval of others, now you are comfortable being anybody else but yourself. You live on the mercy of people’s whims; when they like you, you are good, and when they don’t, life is unbearable! Truth is you only copy people cos it makes you feel safe; you doubt the prospect of the acceptance of your ideas because they are unique and different; they seem unconventional and unlike what you see around you.

Well, newsflash! You are different from everybody else! God made you so! You are so different there is no one else like you in over 7 billion people on the earth; there is no one else with your exact anatomical composition and way of reasoning. You were made to have unique ideas, to see the world like no one else does and to leave an imprint on the sands of time before your last call.

The earth is swarming with recycled ideas and human clones! Every day is Halloween! You are the breath of fresh of air we need. It’d be great to see you as you really are; we could usesome of your original ideas too. You don’t need social media or anyone else for that matter to validate you. Like you! Validate you! And give yourself the opportunity of a lifetime, wear your own face!