The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines compliment as ”an expression of esteem, respect, affection, or admiration; especially: an admiring remark; it is also a formal and respectful recognition.” It is important to note that in both definitions it is a verbalized communication of a person’s confidence reposed in another person; it is an appreciation that is not only felt, but expressed verbally; a compliment should be spoken, not just thought.
It’s funny how sometimes you expect me to ‘just know’ you think I’m special, or I’m loved or you greatly appreciate me even though your lips are tightly sealed! I am supposed to just look at you and know that your heart is filled with immense gratitude and admiration for me cos you are you are here or smiling! Hilarious. Well, how about I smile next time you are stranded or need a hand? I’d just smile and hope that you know I am helping you in there. I’m just saying.
Words are very important, especially appreciative words. People don’t know exactly how much they mean to you until you tell them. Words help us validate our worth in people’s lives and determine where we fit in the scheme of things. Words we say to communicate how we feel in appreciation of something or someone tell them just how much we value them; they are called compliments and they are a little more important than we think.
Have you ever received a genuine and heartfelt compliment that came to you at a time when you were at your lowest? How did it make you feel, like a million bucks uhn? You had been having a bad day; everything that could go wrong had gone wrong, and just when you thought you had had it; just when you were near the high gates of despondency someone paid you a compliment; making you feel you weren’t done just yet; there was more to give!
Let’s quickly go over the transition again; you were down and almost out, then a compliment came in handy and brought with it a new lease of life changing your perspective of yourself and of the situation. In simple terms, it saved the day for you. Indeed a compliment can save the day; it can save a business deal, a relationship, a marriage, even a life. Let me say it again, a compliment can save a life!
Have you ever paid someone a compliment and watched their eyes come alive? Have you ever spoken words of encouragement to someone until an area of apparent flaw became an area of strength? How did it make you feel? It’s amazing what right words can do. They touch us in a most effective way. We can turn things around by just using words of affirmation and confidence.
We all love to receive compliments; no matter how much we pretend we can get by without them, we are thrilled when we get one. So why don’t we give them freely? We don’t give compliments easily because of two unspoken myths; first is that the receiver of the compliment might think they have got something that you don’t, and second that you might lose them when they have developed a healthy self-esteem; we don’t like people living independent of us. For these two major fears we withhold what we know people duly need.
We can put them both down to one thing; fear! Fear is the bane of our existence on earth. We fear things we have only imagined so much so that we are willing to lose what we already have. We are willing to gamble in the off chance that keeping people a little unappreciated will make them always loyal to us. Fear is treacherous and doesn’t always tell you the truth; otherwise you would know that you are going to lose them for the very reason that you are not helping them acquire a healthy self-image.
You lose nothing telling people just how good you think they are. A compliment doesn’t make you any less a great standup act after telling another comedian how hilarious he is. You are not less a man just cos you have told your wife you can’t live without her. And you most certainly won’t lose your grip on your kids cos you tell them you are very proud of them!
It might help you to know that not telling people how special they are to you is not exorable; it has its sad consequences; people second guess themselves around you. They can’t give their best to you or for your cause because they don’t think they’ve got anything special to offer. Worst case scenario, they leave you; people naturally leave you for who is better appreciating them. You don’t want them doing that, do you? I’m not sure you want to be surrounded by a world of insecure people either.
Be the first to notice when your son has developed a new skill, and say it! Pay attention to your wife’s new delicacy, and say it if you like it. Tell your team of staff they are an incredible bunch and you are honored to be on their team. Say it! Say it! Say it!!! Be that guy who keeps belching out appreciation for every good thing he sees; keep doing it until everyone around you is doubly sure they mean something special to you! Life will begin anew when you do!
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