In Pursuit of Happiness


So he is everything you’ve ever wanted in a man; he puts your needs above his own, he opens the door before you and pulls up a chair for you to sit at dinner. He calls you first thing in the morning and checks on you intermittently during the day to see if you are doing okay. As we speak, your phone is ringing and your guess is as good as mine, it’s him! He had called thirty minutes ago to see if your last appointment went well and now he is calling again! Hmmm, other than the fact that his constant calling is running your battery low, I don’t see anything wrong; he calls, he caters, and he cares! He is all the good ‘C’s in the dictionary, yet you still aren’t very happy and you can’t tell why.  I mean, you love the attention and all but something is simply amiss…..

Your girl stands head and shoulder above anyone else you know in character and in virtue; she is as graceful as they come! She loves you, she respects you and she treats you like you were family. Plus she’s a knockout; simply put, she has Mother Theresa’s soul in her Eva Mendez body! Your friends and family like the effect she has on you; she lights up your world like something from another cosmos. What more could a mere mortal ask for? But with all that she is, you are miserable and discontent and you can’t put it down to anything she is doing wrong; she would never hurt you.

The irony! Only a little while ago you would’ve given anything to be with them; just about anything to be with someone who would love you for you and give themselves up for you. And now you have more than you have ever bargained for, but it is not enough. In spite of your good fortune you are back to your old ways, once again you are a pirate at sea, pillaging and marauding on emotional waters! It is amazing how much ill and hurt we can bring to our relationships owing to our unreasonable expectations and deeply ingrained selfishness.

Wrong expectations; like we would change for the better if we were with the right people or we would be happier if we could find that one person who met all our requirements and gave us unfettered love and affection. Well, you may be wrong, apparently; I mean with all you have in your significant other, why do you still have ‘uncanny’ desires? Is it them or you? Is it because of something you are not getting or something you are not giving? Is it possible you are being selfish?

We don’t change just because we’ve got it good from someone else; we ultimately change for ourselves, then for love. You are not the good people do for you even if you think you deserve it; you are the good you do for them. And it is NOT what others do for you that make you happy; it is what you do for others. It’s called love and most humans need to be reintroduced to this ‘eerie’ yet simple concept. God made it so and it’s not only inexorable, it is fulfilling…….

Be the good you want to see in your relationship; put in time, value, respect, commitment and make a decision to make the other person very happy; a lot happier than you met them! You will goof and make big mistakes while you are at it but you will be glad you made a choice like that; for it will change you in ways you can’t even imagine, you will be HAPPY!